Proven Study: Sticking it to the Man Greatly Improves Mood!

If you have been rejected by job applications as many times as I have, I strongly encourage you to try this:

How to Stick it to the Man

Step 1: Find a post for a job opening that you clearly have no interest in getting,

i.e. one that severely underpays and takes advantage of the abundance of desperate job-seekers.

Step 2: Apply to said job opening.

Step 3: Wait for a call from shady job representative, who will ask to set up an interview.

Step 4: Attend said interview and wait for more representatives to talk about how awesome and in-demand their shady company that no one has ever heard of is.

Step 5: Nod your head and smile.

Step 6: Wait for another call during which an employee claims that out of dozens of interviewees, you’ve been selected for a second interview (they say this to every interviewee).

Step 7: When they ask you what day works to set up a second interview, respond with insult of choice.

Here are a few examples:

1. “When pigs fly”        2. “Last week” (followed by hang up)        3. “Stop calling me!”        4. “I don’t do interviews”        5. “Any day between ‘you’ and ‘smell bad’ works for me”        6. “My parole officer doesn’t let me go on second interviews”

I went with option 6! Can you think of any better ones?


About Jimmy vs. World!
Man chases his dreams. Life punches his face. Series and blog created by Los Angeles-based animator Sean Rohani

4 Responses to Proven Study: Sticking it to the Man Greatly Improves Mood!

  1. I’m going with 6 as well. You may also want to try ‘Why are you calling me?! that position has been filled.’

    • Hahah that’s brilliant Rachael! Now I’m gonna have to apply to a terrible job opening just so I could use that one!

  2. mobius faith says:

    Hahaha you made my day. I’ll have to remember #6.

    • Haha nonsense Mobius! I bet you can come up with one much better than #6!

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